Pain Is Knowledge of Life

The softest crunching sound lay underneath
With smile too sunny to ever belie
The pain that racks my soul into a writhe
As to my heart the pain you now bequeath

The words I would have spoken dissipate
Even as my loose lips form the response
I wish that I could find death just this once
So that I might fall into his embrace

Given that all I’ve ever known is this
I have no other place that I can hide
And yet also no way I can abide
The deviant brutality amiss

With thoughts weighty and heart heavy, no doubt
Exists that I must find a way to cope,
To live outside the bondage of this hope…
To carry on and learn to do without

The crutch that I have leaned on day by day
The hurt that kept me going in my youth
Has now been broken by the force of truth
And all that’s left are words I cannot say

I stand now face to face with what is real
A mirror image there that I might see
The victim I allowed myself to be
The pity I permitted self to feel

And as I stand here in that twisted pain
Pushing past all that made me small and weak
I open up my mouth hard words to speak
And will my dying self to live again

I look into my deaden eyes
And say with love, “it’s time to rise”
A glimmer of a smile shows proof
That I can-I will be my truth.

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