What drives a 5 year old to drama?

(Diary entry 2009)

The most distressful part of parenting to me has not been the potty training or the teething or the sleep patterns or even the introduction of a new child into our lives–it has, without question, been the whining. My Haleigh has whined us into complete oblivion. I wake up dreading her marking of a brand new day with a high-pitched, nasally ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhh. And WHY does she make this noise? Simply because it has morphed into a habit. Well, more than a habit really–it’s a ritual of sorts–made all the more flesh crawling by the fact that our 23 month old Ashleigh has joined in. Every day.

See here’s how our morning progresses: Around 6:30 a.m. I wake up to the sounds of birds, cars, and the Fox Morning Show (or Charmed, if Bill goes to sleep watching Law & Order on TBS). I lie there for a couple of minutes to figure out my plan of attack on the morning to minimize the imminent danger of waking up two small kids. Once I am groomed and expertly coiffed, I enter into the hallway and proceed to the girls’ room. I cannot prove it but I am sure that Haleigh hears me coming and immediately pulls the covers over her head with both hands. Between 7:00 and 7:15 a.m., I go in:

“Haleigh, wake up.”

Tug-o-war. She pulls the covers more tightly around her little half bald head. I pull the covers to the floor. Round one, mommy.

“Haleigh, it’s time to get up for school.” She buries her head under the pillow, clutching it with all of her might. I consider allowing her to stay under until she can’t breathe, but I’m running late. So, again with the tug of war–she pulls, I pull, she pulls, I pull. She snatches, and I lose my grip. Round two, small evil child.

By this time, I’ve had all that I can stand. I throw it all on the floor and forcibly sit her up. And lose the war because here is where she kills me every time.

“ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHH!”

I choke. And then Ashleigh wakes up.

“ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHH!”

I die, dragging a flailing, screaming 4-year-old to the bathroom to start the new day.

What drives a 4-year-old to drama? Apparently, my very presence.

 

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s