What You Wanted

So I read this story about a gentleman named Dennis Williams who was a writer and teacher. He committed suicide in Japan after sending an email to random journalists around the globe. I wrote this poem for him, because I know what he felt like–what IT feels like to have so much to share and worry that it is not being received with the joy and love in which you gave it. The last stanza is a direct quote from Dennis Williams.

What You Wanted

I have always held my heart in my hand
A giver enamored with the giving
My living an ode to the pain
Of birthing each creation anew

From the beginning I knew I had this gift
Tomes and tales untold in my mouth
Travailing with words so unforgiving
In their need to break forth from my mind

Philosophical, meaningful, gripping
Thoughts resounding in my head full bells
Falling to the page with such small tinkling
My frustration a bitter tasting wine

No one ever really took up my gift
My love rejected pages of books
My love likes and and shares left unclicked
My love lost in what I had to say

I have had so much to give in this life
I truly believed all that I said
My only regret is that you did not read it
So that you knew what was in my heart

If it turns out that it’s like that unwanted gift
at Christmas forgive me for that
I tried to give you what I believed
You needed, not what you wanted.

Article: Dennis Williams

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