Because I SAID So

I never hated anything more than hearing my mama say “No”–except when she followed up with “because I SAID so.” It stuck in my craw like popcorn kernels in between your two tightest teeth. I swore to myself that when I had kids, I would always have a reason, you know? I would explain to them my reasoning and even listen to theirs. I would be fair.

And then I had kids. And became a teacher, too.

Now I see why parents say “because I said so.” There is no reasoning with the unreasonable, and kids are THE most unreasonable beings on the planet (that I am aware of). They expect every answer to be a yes, and no amount of reasons can kill the whine that is sure to come when they do not get their way.

Middle school students are the WORST. They are in the midst of drowning in a sea of growing up hormones yet are still little kids at heart. A simple conversation becomes a battle of epic proportions. Here is an example of my conversations every day, every period:

Student 1: Can I go to the bathroom?

Me: Not right now, we are getting ready to learn something new.

Student 1: But why not? I really have to go.

Me: Did you not just hear what I said? NOT RIGHT NOW. You need these notes first.

Student 2: Can I go to the bathroom?

Me: Bruh. Why would I let you go when I just said no to her?

Student 2: But I need to go.

Me: No.

Student 1: I asked 1st!

Me: Chill! NOBODY is going to the bathroom right now.

Student 3: Can I…

Me: OH MY GOD!!!! THE BLACK LADY IS TALKING TO YOU ALL IN 5, 4, 3 (sit down, Bobby), 2 (Stop talking now, Jenny), 1. NOBODY IS GOING TO THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW. STOP. ASKING. ME.

Student 4: Why not?

Me: BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!

Student 1: Geez, Mrs. Spencer, you don’t have to yell.

Student 2: That’s not fair.

Student 3: Well, can I go after we take notes then?

Me: ((sigh))

To all parents out there. You WILL, at some point utter these words. Do not feel bad. Do not embrace any shame. Remember, you cannot reason with the unreasonable.

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