5 Reasons Why I Need To Lose Weight, But Never Do

Why I Need To

1. Sweaty boob syndrome.
There is nothing worse than having a sweaty pool under your breasts. I have this problem now. After showers, if powder is not immediately applied, life will be miserable until I get that bra off.

2. General crabbiness and bad mood from caffeine and sugar crashes.
Coffee and cookies will only get you so far. For me, my tolerance to both is so high that I experience symptoms not unlike a drug addict…oh wait. That is exactly what caffeine is, huh. Sigh.

3. Poor fashion options due to weight gain.
Nothing fits RIGHT. I have clothes. They are nice clothes. But because I have extra hips and extra-extra thighs, in order for me to not feel lumpy, I need all these extra…undergarments. Then I feel constricted. Better to just wear really comfortable (if frumpy) clothes. But that is not who I am. Sigh.

4. The stairs at my job.
My struggle is real. The second half is torture. I cannot breathe for 5 minutes afterwards. I feel like heart attacks are imminent. I curse my wimpy lungs. I am ashamed, and then I feel the sweaty boobs starting from stress. Tears. Real. Tears.

5. The procrastination that comes from not wanting to move this weight.
It takes so much effort to get up and DO stuff. I have zero energy. Zero. I have to talk myself into the most mundane of activities. The sludge in my mind has reached epic proportions. It’s like needing an oil change. I am burning up way too much energy barely doing anything.

Why I Never Do

1. I am lazy.
Why lie? I hate physical activity. I always have. I always will. Even when I see results, I am not enjoying the process at all. If I do not enjoy something, after a while I quit. And yes. I have tried classes and gyms and videos and video games. I have done treadmills. I have taken walks. I have tried all your little fancy workout plans that do not involve equipment. I have tried Zumba and INSANITY and P90X and Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda. I don’t like exercising. Period.

2. I like to eat.
I will NEVER be a clean eater long enough to lose a significant amount of weight. I like food that TASTES good. Nobody has yet made kale or quinoa taste good to me. The texture of tofu makes me sad. I like battered and fried things: chicken, donuts… Heck, I like FLOUR. I like vegetables too though. But I prefer pasta. I do NOT like shakes. I also do not like supplements. I. Like. Food.

3. I never have anything I need.
Fruit, no blender. Workout clothes, no sneakers. Video, no yoga mat. Sunny day, no allergy meds. Water, no lemon. Stuff, no motivation. I am always one thing away from starting. I am always one day away from sucking it up and exercising.

4. I eat for no reason.
Eating is soothing. I eat when I am sad. I eat when I am distressed. I eat while I read. I eat because I am bored. I eat the way some people smoke: compulsively. One bite after the next after the next until the entire pack of cookies is gone. Or bag of pretzels. Or pieces of chicken. I have a problem. Help me.

5. I hate failure.
Which is really what this post is about. The reality is so much simpler than all that up there: those excuses keep me from getting started so that I do not have to deal with possible failure. I am fatter than I should be and already feel like a failure. Why add to that? Better to just deal with what I have, right?

And that is what life is like. We know what we need to do–what we have been called to do, but rather than say we are afraid we dodge the issue with a thousand excuses.

As one person to another, may I encourage you to go ahead and try? One step in the right direction is a net gain every time. You are one step closer to victory–but only if you move. Look at this blog. I have been starting and stopping for years now. YEARS! Because I was afraid to fail. But my failure has always been in never starting. I am no overnight celebrity, but I am farther along now that I have ever been because I tried.

So if nobody else is encouraging you to do that THING that you secretly want to do? LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU: you can do it. Go do it. Get started. Your gift will make room for you.

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