Facebook Is NOT Your Personal Diary

I wrote this a few years ago. Thought I would whip it out again! Some language has been changed to make it less…well. Just read it.

In this day and age, people seem to be suffering from some of that old school teenage angst.  And I gets it!  People are broke, busted and disgusted with nowhere to turn because er’body is in the same boat.  I’ve seen more road rage, more crazy outbursts at the store, more kids being mistreated by impatient adults than I have ever seen.  Y’all have gone crazy around here where I be—and you need somewhere to let off the steam.  And I see that you have been…the problem is that I see that you have been using Facebook for your personal diary—and that stuff ain’t sexy.

Apparently nobody has yet come up with a comprehensive online etiquette manual for dummies, so it looks like we’re gonna have to get the party started here. I’m “old school” so I don’t know about all these other social networking sites but knowledge is supposed to be transferable. So here goes:

#1 If you mad at somebody, tell them to they face—not in a thinly veiled FB status.  
Passive-aggression is not hot.  It’s annoying.  It’s irritating.  It’s why you have no real friends.  It’s why the friends that you do have create secret groups and go out for drinks without you.  NOBODY likes a whiney boo. And when you do that mess through your Facebook status, guess what?  We know who you’re talking about!  And guess what else?  They know too! And GUESS WHAT ELSE? THEY PROBABLY DON’T GIVE A DAMB! Otherwise, every time you posted something, someone would respond, ‘Heifer, look, I know you’re talking about me.  What’s good!?’

#2 Don’t over use the tool—too many rants is not what’s up.
Okay, we have ALL taken to Facebook to rant and rave here and there.  It is supposed to be a safe space.  But with Facebook messing around on the back end of the website all the time and you not taking the time to understand your privacy settings and things like that…well things could go horribly awry.  Not to mention that you are looking crazy as a road lizard always going off about something all the time.  I mean, dang!  Do you ever have a good day?

#3 Facebook should not be your only way to share with your friends.
Can I tell you that it is not okay to put alllllllllllllllll your business out in the street?  Didn’t your mama tell you about that when you were little—how you was supposed to keep some things to yourself?  I understand your need to vent.  I also understand your need to vent to your closest friends who may live far, far away.  But the last time I checked, phones are not yet obsolete; there is skype; IM’s; text messages; Face Time; email; chats.  I mean…is it really necessary for you to tell all of the REST of us on your timeline and newsfeed about who pissed you off five minutes ago?

Bonus Please, please, please check your background before you upload a picture
Do I even need to explain?  Oh, okay then.  Your house is nasty, your bedroom is horrendous, you look funky, you clearly don’t care that cleanliness is next to Godliness, your kids are in the background with soggy pampers or—God help us all—is the one taking that rachet picture of you in your bra and panties.  STOP. THAT.

Ahem. Back to the message at hand.

When I was a kid, I had secrets:  secret feelings, secret angst, secret problems, secret loves, secret lies, secret struggles…and you know kids have a hard time keep secrets?  I was not that kid—however I was prone to depressive episodes due my uncanny ability to hold things in.  My mother, sensing that I had stuff to tell but refused to tell it, did me the biggest favor on earth:  she got ya girl a diary.  And that diary turned into volumes of thoughts, questions, answers, pictures, keepsakes, poetry, stories, rants, raves and cuss out sessions that travel with me to this day.  It was my own way to getting out how I feel without

Did you catch that?  WITHOUT CAUSING CONFUSION. Posting all your business on Facebook doesn’t do a thing for you except cause confusion—especially when you getting all deep and emotional all the time.  Let it go. Get a dog.  Get a journal.  Get a doggone therapist.  But please, please stop using Facebook to go off on everybody. Then maybe—just maybe—if you gone head on and do one or two of these steps, people will stop unfollowing, unfriending, and blocking you, and you won’t be sitting around wondering why Man Man stopped responding to your statuses.

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