I used to be a person who created uproar. Not intentionally–in fact, nine times out of ten I did not realize that I was doing it. I would always wonder why I could not get away from so much turmoil. Everywhere I turned was a problem. I changed friends, jobs, schools, partners, homes, cars, cities, states…you name it, I tried to change it. Unfortunately, I created even more upheaval with every external change, never at peace.
There came a day when I finally realized that I WAS the drama. From the way I responded to people to the way I approached any given situation, I actively produced the drama that I claimed to hate so much. When I admitted to myself that I was the problem, I set about fixing it. The process was really easy–on paper. But the more I practiced these tips I am sharing with you, the less drama I experienced. Here’s what I did:
- I stopped responding to stupid situations. I often stirred up foolishness just by responding to another fool. There are lots of people out there who are addicted to drama and they tend to be attracted to each other. The second I stopped reacting, these kinds of people lost interest in me.
- I stopped expecting anything from anyone other than the Lord. Say what you will, but to me the number one cause of drama is expecting things from others. When I stopped waiting angrily and anxiously and painfully for reciprocation, accomodation, care, concern, and help from people, I stopped being angry, anxious, and pained. I relaxed in the knowledge that good would find me, and that life would miss me with all the negativity.
- I started to be as kind as possible to whomever crossed my path. Mind you, I did not become a total doormat or anything. I simply actively did the nice thing whenever the option presented itself–you know, simple stuff like holding doors, picking up things people dropped, smiling at cashiers, letting folks go ahead of me in traffic, sparking up conversations in line at Wal-Mart… that kind of thing. It helped me create a pleasant atmosphere and preempt the negativity that seems to hover around folks these days.
- I learned to say no. There is no worse drama than the drama of trying to fulfill everybody else’s expectations. I am most crabby when I have bitten off more than I can chew, when people are pulling at me and causing me to not take care of myself. I have learned to respect my own limits. People did not like it at first, but I think everybody appreciates me more now; my contributions have value because I take my time–and I am no longer selling myself cheap.
It is God’s desire that you live in peace. But you have to actively choose it by finding out for yourself what brings you turmoil. As you start this week, ask God to reveal to you how you are standing in the way of being at peace. Work on adding one good habit for every bad one and watch the drama come to an end. If it worked for me, I know it can also work for you.
God bless–and be drama free!