I Am Still A Little Girl Then

The world is wide
And I (trapped inside)
Am sometimes afraid.
The plans I’ve made
Don’t always work out
Just the way I want.
My face is always
Brave, smile big and bright
To hide the messes made.
But my lips twitch-
Which way to go?
Tear form and stand
In fearful eyes but
Never get to flow.
On these broke days,
I stand so firm.
Won’t see me sweat!
I never squirm, my
Weeping saved
For phone calls made
In darkened rooms
Hidden away from
All the ears but these.
My panic rises, and
I cannot breathe,
Wanting the only
One who knows the
Pain that squeezes me.
I am a little girl then,
Crying for her mommy.

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