So like, last Thursday, I woke up with a face swollen from just bad health practices. The weather change brought with it a combination abscess and sinus infection with some infection in my left ear. It also brought a revelation that I needed to take better care of myself before I mess up my goal of living for 100 healthy and productive years.
I suck at self-care. I literally live on the altar of self sacrifice. Even after I posted about going to the doctor, I got the meds, then went to freaking work–where my boss told me I could go home. But no! I stayed. And then I worked the homecoming game. And then, after waking up at 3 a.m. in excruciating pain, I went BACK TO WORK, worked a full day, and got in the car and rode to Saint Louis, where I proceeded to pass out while trying to talk my friends into hanging out. All the while, people were like, “Dude! You sure you okay? Maybe you should go chill.”
See. I SUCK at self-care.
Anyway, I just totally digressed.
My original point was that Thursday, I actually posted a picture of what my face looked like–infection and all–attached to my revelatory post about taking care of myself. Folks were stunned, to say that least. I got plenty of prayer, of course, but I also got quite a few questions. The most repeated question was: Why would you post that on social media? You looked HORRIBLE!
Well, yeah, I looked horrible. I was sick. But to globally answer that question, I have quite a challenging ministry ahead of me–one that required a level of authenticity that until a few years ago, I avoided with great success. I lived as a perpetual caricature of who I really was. But having come to a place in my life where I either had to keep it real or lose it all, I now stand out here in the world completely myself. So you get to see my good, my bad, and my ugly (with the caveat of me not doing harm to my family, of course). When it comes to ME, I am doing my personal best to show people what walking into your purpose really looks like.
Most of these “life coaches” out here come to you with a false formula for success. If you do these 3 things, you will never lose. If you follow this system, you will always win. If you watch my videos, you are guaranteed to be successful, neatly done, and well put together like me. Well, I am no life coach, but I have lived long enough, failed enough times, and snatched victory from howling defeat just in time enough to know that life is messy as hell. Being perfect is a lie–success ain’t pretty.
But being authentic and growing from where you are is beautiful.
So I am sharing and enjoying my personal growth so that somebody somewhere can have little reminders that glamour shots are great (I love selfies), but being real is revelatory. And somebody out here in social media (points at self) wants to keep you grounded in the reality that the road to awesome begins with authenticity.
So yeah, without serving gratuitous nudity, you will always get the naked truth over here. No more masks for me. I have gone through too much to not honor God with fully owning the journey.