What do you do when what God wants for you and what seems like a good thing don’t match up?
You adjust. Or you die a slow death.
I recognize that some of this isn’t about me. I’m married with children. That comes with mulltipled sacrifice, emotional load, and quite honestly having to slog through lessons meant for one of them along with my own life tests.
But talking about me–speaking about my own personal experiences with how God works in my life, I had to eat a huge slice of humble pie on this last round. And I had to eat it because when I look back on that chapter, I know for truth that I didn’t ask God what to do. I merely begged for what I wanted. In doing so, I learned the hard way that what looks good, sounds good, is in fact good may not be good for YOU.
Being chosen by God to minister to others means you don’t always get to do the good thing.
There’s a small print clause that says in all thy ways acknowledge God and God gets to direct the path. It says that you can make plans but God frames the steps. It says that your life is not your own. This chafes like nothing else because who we are taught to be is selfish and driven–not called. We are inundated with messsages that tell us to go for “it” without understanding that the “it” is walking in the Spirit who teaches us all truth. We are overwhelmed with the need to do and not be, causing us to look for external glory instead of eternal gains.
Moving to Nashville was good–I had to step out of another comfort zone. I learned some things I never would have. God is using all of it for my good. But moving to Nashville was not God–we suffered greatly, never catching a breath or a foothold, floating precariously close to all the edges we had managed to scoot away from.
And now we’ve circled back. Back to the St. Louis Metro area. Back to the family and friends we left behind. Back to church we where our work was worship. Back to the rebuilding of credit and savings and stability that we had begun to have. Back to ministering into the lives we’d been assigned to help heal, deliver, and set free.
Humility is the price you pay for God’s glory, and obedience the admission fee for your purpose. God is so merciful and gracious that God gives you the right to choose. God will let you go the long way around, even until death, promising to wipe your tears later. But it is just do it the way that God wants for you to do it so you don’t have to live in turmoil and regret.
In this mindful moment, I have found that when the good and God thing diverge, I should always choose the God thing, painful though it may be. Because in the God thing lies the glory of fulfilling purpose and walking in the peace we so desperately seek.