We Trying To Get Chose: On Women, Value, and Relationships

I might ramble a bit on this one so try to rock with me. We going places.

There is really no better feeling than to be chosen by someone you have feelings for. It’s why women compete. Why women and young girls of all ages still fight. Why women keep getting pregnant by Peter Gunz. Why women stand around flashing body parts at ball players and ballers, recording artists and businessmen. Because no better feeling exists than that of being chosen if you are a woman. That is a man’s sure fire foot in the door. That’s why so many men end up in the friend zone with the hint of a chance keeping him chained to a woman who won’t ever lift the ban–when the guy she wants to choose her does not, she can get that high from the guy in the zone. He keeps on choosing her even when she’s not choosing back.

I wonder how many women are aware of this innate desire to be chosen and how it permeates their lives? How much are women sacrificing for that pleasureable response? Are we even all that aware of it and how it can drive us into desperate situations? What happens to us in our pursuit of it? And what does it take to realize that getting chosen is no match for being chosen?

Getting chosen. Just in the phrasing itself, getting chosen means we have given up our autonomy. We have released our rights, our freedom. We have made ourselves slaves to someone else’s whims and fancy.

It’s happening all the time in popular media and social media. We are told that we must become contortionists to get chosen. “Ten ways to please your man”, “3 tricks to getting the love you want”; “Style tips on snagging and bagging your dream guy”; “What to  when he’s not feeling you”; “Lose weight and find love”…add to that click bait all the advice from men–prominent men–telling you everything you’re doing wrong that’s keeping you from getting chosen to be a wife and MY GOD! Steve Harvey. Stephan Speaks. Terry Bam. Devon Franklin. Freaking TYRESE.

AND THEN THERE’S the women who COSIGN: Meghan Good, Ayesha Curry, Ciara, Heather Lindsay, to name a few. And let’s not forget the regular degulars in your every day life admonishing you to dress better, lose weight, fix your hair this way, walk that way, speak only when spoken to, Everybody everywhere is telling you that there is something wrong with you and if you fix it then a guy might deem you worthy enough to fuck and possibly marry.

Everywhere we turn we are told that we aren’t good enough to get chosen.

But what if someone told you that it was all a scam? What if I told you that you have already been chosen? What if I explained to you that the Source of the Universe has already chosen you–that God is just waiting on you to choose yourself?

Because that’s it right there. God has chosen you even though the people around you have not. God has validated you even when you cannot get that anywhere else. Yet until you raise your vibration enough to choose yourself, you will drag yourself through unnecessary pain because you are calling to yourself what you believe about yourself.

Choose yourself and watch the doors fly open.

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