In case you don’t hang out with me on social media, I spend a lot of time posting there. It is mostly God-related in that I talk about God a lot. Not necessarily the heaven and hell of God (though yeah I totally believe in that) but in a different way. I realize that I could be a fire and brimstone kinda chick. I mean, I grew up that way, just trying to make it in and failing miserably every day. But as I have gotten older and accepted that I have peace with God, I began to understand that the next step was peace with SELF.
So I started to share my real time, honest daily walking out of faith. I call these things confessions, because they usually involve me writing about some thing I am dealing with that most folks would not share. Disappointments. Anger. Fear. Failures. Longing. All the stuff flesh is made of, that we fight every day whether we want to or not.
What has happened is that God has created an odd kind of ministry that begins on my wall as random statuses and end with some very real private conversations. I have hella Nicodemus moments. In the public show of my life I have found myself privately called on to intercede, pray, prophesy, encourage, admonish, and just listen.
It is a burden that I am honored to bear.
When I told God I was willing to be God’s personal cypher, I had no idea it would end up this way. It is scary to have folks trust what I say. And yet, this is a part of the new thing God is doing. Church has again become a tradition, and truth comes second. How crazy is it that God would use this love of writing that I do as a tool for ministry? Me, of the private silent life who occasionally dumps her excessive thoughts on a 5 year old blog that I have yet to properly curate?
In a time when everything has the potential and probability to become public, God has receded into a private place and I have followed–pulling people who seek truth and revelation with me. I don’t believe that it is just me either. I think that God is raising up people willing to forgo fame for transparency.
Transparency. Openness. Vulnerability. Honesty. God wants intimacy with all God’s children, but it requires a pulling down of facades, a taking off of masks. I am daily trying to pull off everything that is not real. And it starts with what I write.