This year, I got a new (to me. Lolz) vehicle. And by the second payment, I was the last car hit in a 9 car collision started because a young man lost control of a too fast moving car on the highway one icky rainy morning. Ugh. But then on Saturday, I experienced a tire blowout as I pulled into Krispy Kreme as a blessing to my family. I had been getting ready to drive down that same highway to see a close friend off as she moves back to her home state.
As he drove me from the auto shop, Bill jokingly said (like LBVS), “The van is looking real bad. We need to pray this spirit off you.” We laughed, but I took him for the serious that he was. Because I have fought this battle before. In 2000, I had a car accident that should have killed me. But God saved me. Literally.
We had just lost a friend known for his funloving ways and love of a poppin spades game. One of my closest friends and I had a mini-memorial, cooked lasagna and salad and sat around with our other friends (and his) honoring his life like he lived it–fun company and food. We went to play spades and realized we had no cards. I volunteered to go get some. A younger male friend (whom we had adopted) came along to ride with me.
There was no bad weather. No traffic. Just a long winding road, and night time new moon kinda darkness. I am not the best driver, so I am super cautious. I am a defensive driver, watching speed limits and opting to wait and let others go ahead of me. But I am not THAT terrible to have caused what happened as we rounded a steep hill curve.
At the apex of the curvy hill, the car went all the way left down an embankment. It was a super steep hill with no guard rails that emptied out onto another road. The car did two full rotations, pausing on an outcropping in the crag before nosediving at stupid speeds into the ditch below.
As we did full circles, I had taken my hands off the steering wheel as it turned to and fro wildly. I could hear laughter in my right ear. And I knew what it was. I knew that something was in that car with me, laughing wildly–joyfully–at me.
All could do was say, “Jesus!”
The car impacted fully on my side. As it landed, I was propelled forward. My seatbelt tightened…and then it broke. My head hit the windshield, and I could sense it breaking as my body began to follow it. And in those few seconds of a lifetime, everything around me slowed down. I was on my way to death. I could feel the waiting death. I could see my body broken on the road in front of me. I saw myself sailing, landing, neck breaking. I thought I was done for.
The blood was already pouring from my forehead when I felt a hand in my chest pushing me back into my seat. A hand had stopped my trajectory. The hand felt like when someone pushes you in a fight–from the front, with the intent of pushing you down. I landed, not on the street where I had just seen myself but in my seat, blood gushing into my eyes and heart in my throat.
My friend had already hopped out the car, popping his own seatbelt and checking himself for injury. He was totally fine–not a scratch, not sore (not even the next days). I crawled out, blinded by crusting blood around my eyes and loss of my glasses thinking, what the entire FUCK? A runner, he shot back up this steep hill for help. I sat there winded, afraid and relieved and very clear: the devil tried to take my life. But Jesus saved me.
Jesus saved me.
When I heard the sirens, I broke down.
At the hospital, the on call doctor picked glass from my forehead, telling me I was super lucky. That I would hurt. That I’d be picking random piesces of glass from my head for a while. That I’d be fine.
When he left, my friend asked me, “Why were you laughing?”
I asked him, “You heard that, too?”
He responded. “That wasn’t you?”
“No. Did you push me back in the car?”
Most people don’t believe in supernatural things, giving God the barest of nods as they go about this life. I know better. My guardian angel saved my life.
So when I joke around and stuff…on the inside, I am very serious. I heed spiritual warnings. Energy is energy. And people send off bad energy every day just like prayers. There are many who would rejoice in this season if I were no longer around, and all it takes is one bad, clear thought for the prince of the air to get marching orders to try it again.
Am I afraid? Nah. Unlike then, I am no longer wrestling with my faith. I am sure. I do not fear the one who can kill the body but not the soul. And I am on purpose right now. God has work for me to do and it is not my time.
Yet, I am cautious. I am no fool. I watch AND pray.