Stepping On My Self Deprecation to Show Appreciation

Listen. Listen. Listen. I have written extensively about the plethora of mechanisms for self preservation I have. There’s layers; then there’s levels. And one of the highest levels of self saving tactics I use is self deprecation. I deflect like a mug. I can seem so uncomfortable with praise and honor and clap ups… when I am just trying not to let you see that it matters.

So this that post.

It matters to me that you read this stuff. Even if you just clicked it and got through the first paragraph before determining that it wasn’t the type of tea you drink–at least that click lets me know that I wrote a good title. Know what I’m saying? The stats matter to me. That little traffic I been getting means that somebody is sharing. Somebody is reading. Somebody is coming back. Somebody is reading more than one post.

Bruh. I went from reading my own posts to some subscribers and regulars. And as self effacing as I am, you just gotta know that I do random jigs wherever I am when my numbers go up. Last week was most validating. And as much as I talk about how little I care about what other people think, I’m NOT finna lie: my joy has been unparalleled with this writing thing and YOUR reading thing. I went from a free website address to biting the bullet and purchasing a domain to people coming back to read regularly.

I feel like Tony the Tiger.

I am legit proud of myself. I keep putting myself out there, sweating bullets because I hate feeling rejected. It is something I am hyper aware of from a kid. I’m getting used to it. But still. That sigh of relief when I see that y’all reading my words? It’s bigly.

Thank you. Please stick around. I think I’m getting better at it? Especially now I have people to perform for.

Catch this jig.

Also: subscribe. Hit like. Press share. I want to monetize my life.



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