I have lived in the shadows of abandonment.
I know what it is to be left without support, given up on.
Deserted as an unprofitable person. I have cried tears my whole life in some vein or the other as I grappled with being set aside. More than the physical leaving, being forsaken is a destitute place where someone has disconnected in ways that leaving just doesn’t explain. It is a psychic tear that hurts worse than anything anyone could ever do to your body. The agony of the love of your life going dark and silent. No answer. Hollow presence because physically everything is as it should be; but the heart feels the something more (that words cannot express) is gone.
Jesus experienced it on the cross, crying out for God as He felt God’s presence separate from Him. My God! My God! Why have You forsaken me? How awful it must have felt, to have been so fully ensconced in the presence of God for so long then feel it seep away, even for just a second.
Jesus experienced that for me. For you. He experienced the trauma of not having God’s presence so that we would not have to. So that we could, upon the revelation of His sacrifice, live in the peace of knowing that God will never abandon us.
I will fight that spirit all my life. It is my personal thorn that God gave me–to sit with the feeling of abandonment. In that weakness, God has made Himself known to me, so that I can make His love known to you.
So in this quick word (written for whom I could not say), I want to just tell you: God will never abandon you. People will come and go. Things will happen or (as they do) not happen. Stars will die. Planets will collide. Governments will collapse. Plans will fall apart. Life will go awry.
But God will never forsake you. God is too invested in loving you. And even if all else fails, you have that to hold onto.
Some of us will always be too much. Need too much. Want too much. Others won’t be able to handle you and will walk away. Wash their hands of you–you’re too much trouble. But God won’t ever do that to you. He promised, and God is not a man that He would lie–nor the son of a man that He would change His mind.
So if you are struggling with feeling abandoned, God is there for you. He will never leave OR forsake you. I hope that message finds your heart.