I Know In Whom I Have Believed (Or, To Trust in God means this to me)

The most cognitively dissonant people I have ever met are Christians.

While I believe our faith to be true and our God to be real, I also know that we are the most conflicted of any religious group. We are not really sure if we even believe what we say we believe (so amazing and out of the box it seems in the face of human logic, technology, and learning). It just sounds crazy–so we pick and choose the parts that are close to believable to most people and don’t think about those parts that make most folks laugh in our faces.

The older I get, the closer I get to God, I find myself astounded at the level of dissembling that occurs-especially among older “born again” people. Like: How can it be that God is God enough to deliver you from DEATH–and that of your own making through your bad judgment and bad habits–yet God is not God enough to set you free from taking 25 pills a day? How it that God is God enough to save you from HELL yet not quite God enough to keep you from sin? How is it that God is God enough to save you from utter destruction but not fully God enough to heal your broken heart? How can you praise Jehovah Jireh in one breath but be consumed in worry and lack in the next?

It makes no sense to me to hear the “old saints” talk about people getting healed just passing under the preacher’s shadow, limbs growing back and minds regulated on the spot–yet now we gotta have a call line with 100 prayer partners to labor for a breakthrough. Which is it: The power of God or the work of people? God’s presence or our performance?

I have found that very few people live completely sold out to Christ. WE (cuz I’m a part of that larger group) still rely on our spouses, our friends, our jobs, our plan Bs. Our flesh and what we can handle with our own minds and hands is our salvation–not Jesus Christ. If we were that sold out, then God’s presence wouldn’t be a future reward, it would be a daily expectation, the bulk of our lives and our days.

And so, as 2018 closes and 2019 opens itself up to great possibilities, my goal is to live in God’s presence to know what is His perfect will for my life and the kingdom.


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